Overcome the Resolution Failure Syndrome

I used to be a bootcamp fitness instructor.

Every year, in January, my classes were full: I had to close the door 5 minutes before the start of class as we reached capacity.

By the end of the month, I would close the door at the time the class started.

By the start of Feb, I didn’t even bother closing the door: there were usually enough spots left to accommodate late arrivals…

I attribute this yearly cycle to New Year Resolutions Failure Syndrome. Perhaps you overindulged during the holidays and look for a quick fix to cope with your guilt. Or you truly think "new year, new me: I'm going to find better focus, and stop procrastinating this year! For real this time!!". It works for 2 weeks, maybe 3. Then the end of January hits, and the next thing you know, you're finishing two bags of chips and watching Netflix instead of working on that big project.

So if 2021 is REALLY about self-improvement for you, know that there are no quick fixes. Keeping up with our 'resolutions' not only takes daily courage and determination, but hard work up front. Thankfully, there are a few useful scientifically proven techniques that you can try.

WOOP!

WOOP is a scientifically proven mental contrasting tool. It stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan.

a) Wish: Choose a goal you would like to accomplish. It should be challenging, compelling, and realistic.

Examples:

- I will stop yelling at my kids when they misbehave.

- I will give at least bi-weekly feedback to members of my team.

b) Outcome: What’s the best possible outcome that would result from accomplishing your goal? How would you feel? Visualize this outcome in your mind.

Examples:

- I will be more relaxed, and they will yell back less.

- My team will learn faster, be more motivated, and make year-end conversations less stressful.

c) Obstacles: What are the personal obstacles that prevent you from achieving your goal? What’s standing in the way between you and your goal? Visualize this obstacle in your mind.

Examples:

- I will be tired and stressed, they will push all my buttons, and I will revert back to yelling.

- I will get busy, and prepping for my 1x1s will fall to the bottom of my list.

d) Plan: Make a plan for overcoming your obstacles. This should read something like "If__________(obstacle), then I will _________ (action to overcome obstacle)."

Examples:

- If my kids start pushing my buttons, I will explain to them that I need a time out to gather myself, go to another room and take some deep breaths before I come back to the situation.

- If I get busy and find myself needing to wing it, I will move the meeting to a different time and block some time in my calendar to prep for it.

** Note that the last two steps are often the ones we ignore. Nothing worth it comes without obstacles. Visualizing and planning for them will allow you overcome them better when they do arise.**

Check out https://woopmylife.org/ for more info on the WOOP technique, including the science behind it.

Change Your Environment

In his book Slim By Design, Brian Wansink shows the correlation between weight loss and what's on people's kitchen counters. In fact, if trying to lose weight, he advises people to clear their kitchen counters from anything other than a bowl of fruit. In his study, the presence of foods such as candy, cereal, soft drinks, and dried fruit were associated with weight differences that ranged from 9.4 to 14.4kg. So the single act of changing your environment can lead to drastic improvements in your ability to stick to your commitments.

What could this look like in a leadership setting?

Say you decided that 2021 is the year of improving your listening skills. Maybe don't bring your phone / laptop to meetings? Or in this virtual world, close all windows other than zoom on your computer when in a meeting?

Socially Commit

Tell the world. Tell your friends, your kids, your partner, your dog. You'd be surprised how much harder it is to drop something once you've socially committed. And the added benefit is that social awareness of your goal can help unlock some new opportunities!

A couple of years ago, I decided I needed to improve my public speaking skill. I told my manager, my team, my colleagues and my friends. All of a sudden, speaking engagement opportunities kept coming my way! There was no turning back ....

Self-improvement doesn't come easy. Apparently, it can take anywhere between 18 to 254 days to create a new habit. Your willingness to put in the hard work up front will dictate your chances of success.

Happy Resolutioning!